Monsters at the Door

So my mother showed up at my door at 9pm last night, drunk and slurry and loud. She banged on the door and the side of the house for 5 minutes, then rang the doorbell repeatedly til I opened the latch with a newly awakened and screaming toddler on my hip.

‘I want to stay the night cuz of the Christmas party at work and your dad’s got a doctor’s appointment I want to go to and I only have one client!’ Because I’ve had intermittent contact with my dad since early September I was able to mostly parse that into an intelligible statement. Work had a party. She was too shitty to drive. Dad was too ill to get her and she’s on the outs with her 7th employer of the year and no coworkers could stand her enough to drive her sloppy ass home.


This is the first time I’d seen her since Sept 6, my son’s birthday party. I punched my brother for saying something racist about my kid and she and my sister (who didn’t hear or see it) decided to ‘punish me’ by not calling me constantly with demands. It’s been nearly heaven. Until last night.

She woke my son up completely by putting her cold fingers on all of his tickle spots and basically acting like a manic grandma fever-dream. The perfect antidote to a toddler’s bedtime. He stayed up past midnight and then she woke him again with her raving at 4 in the fucking morning. She finally left at 630 and left the door wide open.


I missed two alarms on my phone so I woke up too late for any of our plans. Discovered she had rifled thru both bathroom cabinets, my son’s dresser and closets, and the entirety of my goddamn kitchen- including the dishwasher. Shit is everywhere. I’m *guessing* she was looking for drugs or prescriptions. She’s told my husband repeatedly that I’m heavily medicated for anxiety (wrong daughter, dumbass) and that he should count my pills like she used to (once again, wtf). She definitely found my thyroid meds, and I suspect I’ll hear in the future about the 4yo bottle of flomax to help me pass that kidney stone (because she doesn’t believe in thyroids, whatever the hell that means).

Now my son is sleeping the night off even tho he had preschool (which we still owe attendance money on) and I had a study session planned with a coworker for my CDL and our whole day is fucked. I’m just taking a moment after cleaning up the mess she made (before my son wakes and it scares him) to wish everyone a happy fucking holiday.

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