I am so tired of being let down. ‘Trust us!’ I’m sqwacked at, ‘No man is an island,’ I’m sermonized.

Yeah, well then why is it that everytime I rely on someone shit falls apart? Why is it that when I do things on my own, even if the fallout is that I’m more hated and more ostracized and more miserable, I succeed? Even for something as simple as a cup of fucking tea.

I am the zebra in a herd of galloping horses. I am the paladin for the number 13. I am at sixes and sevens with THE FUCKING UNIVERSE so often that when things go well I’m suspicious and scared. I sweat disorganization and exhale chaos. I am the physical avatar for 5/4 timing.

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Ugh.